Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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