Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
