Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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