This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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