I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
