I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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