do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
