WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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