There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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