Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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