Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
When did angry sex become our thing?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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