Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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