you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
