I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
