he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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