he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
