is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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