did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
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it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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