I am puke
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
