TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize