What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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