My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
