I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
