Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
