I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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