I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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