We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
