Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
