your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
