Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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