For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
