Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
