just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
