the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We need to get me chipped asap
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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