guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
