I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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