Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize