I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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