jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
