PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize