coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
