How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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