Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
is that a dick in a sweater?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
