wanna go halves on a baby?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
