i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize