There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
