Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
