Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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