So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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