I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We are two peas in an std pod
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
