I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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