Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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