Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
