Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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