I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Randomize
