If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Randomize
