Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize