apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
What drink are we having for lunch?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
