the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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