had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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