College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
