I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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