Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
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He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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