it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So much rum. So many feels.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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