Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
