I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
