it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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