Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
